Self-Harm
Self-harm is when you intentionally cause harm to yourself as a way of dealing with difficult feelings, traumatic experiences or memories, neglect, or situations that you find overwhelming. People sometimes self-harm when life feels hard to cope with.
Self-harm can look different for different people. You might find yourself doing things which are harmful, but not think of them as ‘self-harm’. But that doesn’t make your experience any less valid.
(source: YoungMinds.org )
One of the main ways people help themselves when they want to self-harm is through distraction.
Different distractions work for different people, and the same distraction might not work for you every time. Try writing your own list of distractions that you have found helpful or would like to try.
We have listed some ways you can distract yourself based on how you are feeling or what you want.
Angry or Restless
- Scribble on photos in magazines
- Throw an apple or pair of socks at the wall
- Scream, shout or dance
- Tear something up (book, magazine, newspaper)
- Do some exercise
- Listen/Sing to loud music
- Scribble on paper until the whole page is black (can be any colour)
Sad or Lonely
- Instead of punishing yourself by self-harming, punish yourself by not self-harming
- Call a friend or helpline
- Let yourself cry
- Watch your favourite show or movie
- Watch the sky
- Pet an animal
- Practice self-care (face mask, bubble bath, chocolate, rest, etc.)
Scared or Panicked
- Practice grounding (see ‘Activities’ page)
- Listen to soothing music (try Lofi on YouTube)
- Meditate or try yoga
- Find or create a ‘safe space’
- Crunch or hold ice
- Wrap a blanket around you
Alternatives that will give you a sensation (other than pain) without harming yourself
- Hold your hands under freezing cold water
- Hold ice cubes, can also be placed on the area you want to harm
- Snap a rubber band or hair tie on your arm
- Clap your hands
- Wax your legs
- Splash your face with cold water
- Write or paint on yourself
Alternatives that will distract you or take up time
- Say “I’ll self-harm in 15 minutes if I still want to” and keep going every 15 minutes until the urge fades
- Count to 10 getting louder until you’re screaming
- Declutter your home/room
- Count ceiling tiles or lights
- Search ridiculous things on the internet
- Colour co-ordinate your wardrobe
- Learn how to make origami
Additional Support
Harmless – Self-harm and Suicide prevention
NSPCC – Advice and information to help parents/carers understand why children/young people self-harm and what you can do to support them 0808 800 5000
Mind – Information, advice and help finding local support 0300 123 3393
You can also download this information in a guide
Researchers at the University of Oxford have developed a guide for Parents and Carers
Rethink Org have created a self-harm fact sheet to help you understand why we might use self-harm and how to access support.
